Before John and I began trying for baby #1, I thought the term "aunt flo" was one of those out-of-date, never-to-be-used again, last generation terms. So, you can imagine my absolute confusion when I started visiting some of the pregnancy and TTC websites/online forums, only to find AF used over and over again.
At first, I thought if I didn't know the term, it didn't apply to me (silly, yes), but after awhile it became too difficult for me to ignore it without becoming completely lost, so I finally took the time to do a little research and figure out what the heck all of these people were talking about. And, POOF there it was - AF = Aunt Flo (menstruation). Amazing what you'll learn through a quick Google search.
So, as the months turned into a year and then a year-and-a-half (but who's keeping count?), I can't help but be more aware of the term AF and MY AF than I ever thought was humanly possible.
Quite honestly until we started "trying" I never really paid all that close attention to it. In my early 20ties I was always happy to see it arrive, right on time. In my mid-30ties I lost it completely due to my intense running schedule, so I never gave it a second thought. Then, when we first started TTC, I was thrilled to learn that it would show up every 28 days, like clockwork. Now? Well, now I watch it like a hawk and dread its seemingly inevitable next arrival.
Who knew? I've spent most of my adult life doing everything in my power to avoid getting pregnant so it makes perfect sense that now I'm doing everything in my power to make a pregnancy happen, right? Wow, what a crazy world.
Tomorrow I go see a new doc, an RE who was recommended to me by a friend. Although I'm not looking forward to yet another doctor's appointment, I am excited that I won't be going to my normal OBGYN's office, where it seems everyone is eight months pregnant and all smiles. They just have no idea, or, if they do, they're just not in that same place as me right now.
Either way, I'm ready for a new start and hope that I'll be able to find a little more solace in an environment that often sees the likes of me. Someone desperately hoping her AF doesn't come this month, but secretly knows that it will.
Did I mention mine's due in three days? And, I just know it's currently making it's unwanted journey my way. Insert BIG SIGH here.
Signing off till next time...
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