Another Doctor's Visit

Earlier this week, I had my first visit with a new RE. For the last year-and-a-half, I have just been seeing my regular OB, which was fine when we first started TTC, but after two miscarriages, one surgery, and an unsuccessful round of injectables, I thought it was time to start fresh with someone new. 

And, to be completely honest, I really wanted to go to a doctor's office where I actually saw the doc. While I've been happy overall with my current OB and his nursing staff, I started getting tired of being tossed back and forth between different staff members and having to re-explain my history over and over again. And, besides, they're used to seeing happy, healthy pregnant ladies, not women like me that come with all sorts of baggage. 

So off to a new start!

John and I met with the doc and really liked him a lot. He didn't sugar-coat anything but instead just told it how it is -- which pretty much boils down to old eggs and a fast-running clock.  I was also reminded that I was not 40 but 40-and-a-half.  I don't remember adding a half to my age since I was child, and while it was a happy memory then, it's not such a happy new memory now. Bottom-line though, we really like the new doc and feel he might be able to help us out in the long run.

So, that's the good news. The bad news it that my insurance doesn't pay for any of this.  I kind of knew that going in, but hadn't really added it all up until after that initial consultation. And boy, does it ADD up. 

But, I think we're going to give it a shot this next month -- another round of injectables -- to see how it goes. After that, we might have to take some time "off". Mostly for our overall sanity. It's amazing how quickly all of this fertility stuff can take up every single inch of brain space, leaving little room for much else.  

Never in a million years did I think I would spend so much time focused on this one thing, my mind constantly on the move with thoughts like - Will I ovulate? Am I ovulating? Is that slight cramp ovulation pain? Implantation pain? Or, an early pregnancy symptom? Are my boobs sore because I'm pregnant? Or, are they sore because I'm about to start my period? Am I about to "start"? Every positive thought countered with a corresponding negative one. It can literally drive you insane! If only I could use all of that brain space in a productive manner. So much would I accomplish!

But for now this is who I am. This is me. Take it or leave it.  Unfortunately, I've got no choice in the matter, and I'm such lucky gal to have John, who's been willing to stand there, right by my side. 

Next step - wait for the arrival of my AF, which should be any day now (BOO!). From there, hopefully on to a new month of "trying" - round 2 of injectables. And the journey continues...